militarymoms

It’s Saturday morning, pretty early, and I’ve already been awake for two hours.  I had to drop my son off at a Scouting event.  It’s been hard to work these backpacking weekends into our busy family schedule - nothing like having yet another series of mandatory dates to write on our calendar. 

Thinking about these required hikes reminded me of the fact that I have, in reality, very little control over any part of our family schedule.  There are so many “must do” things that I literally have to schedule our family time, and I have to squish it in amidst the mandatory events.

That’s what military life is like.  We’ve delayed vacations - even canceled them - and rearranged plans countless times to meet the Navy’s demands on my husband’s time.  We’ve eaten dinner after 8:00 P.M. every night this week - twice after 9:00 P.M.  We often travel to be with my husband as he goes to required events, spending family time and money to be in a place that wasn’t on our travel list.  And, like most military families, we seldom get to choose where we live, or even our next duty station.  The detailer says, “You’re going here,” and we go.

I learned long ago to let go of my frustration with this lack of control.  No, I don’t like changing plans all the time and I’d give a lot to put away my moving supplies for good.  Yes, I get angry about these things on occasion.  But, most of the time, I shrug and walk over to the calendar, pencil in the changes, and hope for the best.  I married into this life, and this lack of control is part of the deal.

Three things have helped me cope with all of this.  First, my husband told me very honestly about military life before we were even engaged.  He didn’t sugar coat the facts or pretend he wasn’t intending to stay in for 20+ years.  He even told me he loved going to sea and planned to seek out seagoing billets.  Although I had no way of knowing what this life would really feel like, I wasn’t surprised when 20 years went by and my husband was still in the Navy.

Second, I have placed my life in God’s hands, so I trust that He’s sending us where we need to go.  Sometimes it takes a long, long time before we figure out why we’re in a particular place, but that’s okay.  I could never survive military life without my faith; I often wonder how people do it.

And, finally, I’ve learned that my purpose in life has nothing to do with my career (I’ve had 10 different jobs in 23 years) or the square footage of my home (small).  It has everything to do with creating a happy home for our family and giving my children a stable life filled with love.  For me, the military life isn’t a burden because, most of the time, I’m managing to do those things.  You can’t schedule love or happiness, but God has worked them into His plan for us all the same.

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