militarymoms

Terie’s comments on some of my older posts got me thinking.  I have done the military spouse thing for 22 years and 36o days now (anniversary 23 is Sunday!).  I have lost count of the “How do you do it?” and “I could never move away from my family!” comments - and that doesn’t take into account the discussions I’ve had about homeschooling.  Am I really that far above the common mortal?

Of course, the answer is no.  I’m just a standard-issue individual who happened to fall in love with a military person.  He, thank God, was honest enough to prepare me, at least in part, for the challenges I’d face…before we were even engaged.  We’ve always talked honestly about military life, which is wonderful because my last blood relative who served in the military died in World War II, in Italy (we took flowers to his grave in 2004).  I was the Totally Clueless Innocent Civilian when I became a military spouse.

Over time, I’ve come to the conclusion that we all, as human beings, have something of the superhero inside.  Certainly I never expected to field questions about battleship hull strength the same day Operation Desert Storm began - ironically, the day after my husband’s birthday, the same day I saw him briefly on CNN loading supplies onto or off of the USS WISCONSON (BB-64).  I knew about the ship’s two 18-inch hulls, to be sure, but I never thought I’d be explaining them to family members, particularly on the day MY husband was in danger and they were all fine.

In my mind, the real superheroes at home are the military family members who offer up emergency assistance to spouses of deployed service members.  Let me explain.  Right before my husband went on his last 6-month cruise, a church friend suggested that I keep her phone number on hand, for 2:00 A.M. emergencies.  Her kids were older, she said, and she could help if I needed assistance.

Thank God for Debbie.  I did need her help, the night before my parents were due to fly in from California for a visit.  I woke up with intense pain, knowing I was hospital-bound.  I called Debbie, woke her husband, asked for help and got not only Debbie but her daughter (pulled from school to babysit for me).  Debbie took me to the hospital and stayed to make sure I wouldn’t be sent home.  Turned out I had a softball-sized ovarian cyst.  I needed surgery.  Debbie and her family took care of all of us until my parents arrived.

I’ve never forgotten this event, and some day I hope to pay it forward.  I’ve offered up emergency services to many deployed spouses, and I know one day I will be able to help someone as Debbie helped me, with transportation, child care, advocacy and prayer.

We, as military moms, are definitely superhero material.  Maybe now is a good time to take stock and see how we can make ourselves more available to the people who might need our help in an emergency.  Step One:  Tell people you are available.  They will call on you if they trust that you are sincere.  I know, because I was there.  Offer what you can truly give and the Good Lord will take care of the rest.

To Debbie:  We are doing well and the little baby girl you knew is now 10.  She sings as sweetly as your daughter did nine years ago (and, I’m sure, still does).  Our lives are richer because we knew you and you helped us when no one else was nearby.  I will pass your favor on, don’t worry!

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