militarymoms

You may have noticed, dear readers, that posting has tapered off here on Military Moms.  This isn’t because I’ve given up blogging.  Rather, it’s due to the fact that I’ve reviewed my writing schedule and decided to look for ways to expand my blogging horizons.  To this end, I’ve taken on a new position as Military Moms Editor at Type-A Mom, a community of moms who write articles, share ideas, review products and connect with each other.  I don’t plan to shut this blog down completely, but I’ll be doing most of my military mom writing at Type-A for the foreseeable future.  You can also find my thoughts on Maryland military life online at HometownAnnapolis.com, the Web site of The Capital newspaper.

I really enjoy blogging, and I hope you’ll stop by my blogs often.  As always, I really appreciate the time you take to read my posts.  Don’t be strangers, now!

Last night I dreamed about curtains.  I have no idea why - perhaps it’s because my cat found her way into my linen closet, where I keep my curtain stash.

That’s right - other folks have fabric stashes, I have curtains.  I have curtains from every house I’ve ever lived in.  Some I’ve made, some I’ve purchased - but I have them.  I have curtains to fit European windows and curtains to fit smaller-than-average base housing windows.  I have 1980’s floral print curtains and 21st-century teal-and-mushroom checked panels.  I have extra shower curtains, too.

When you move every couple of years, you have to take down your curtains and re-hang them in your new home.  Your living room curtain from house #4 might not fit in house #5 - but it could work in house #6, so you save it.  Hence, my curtain stash.

I have been in this house two years so far and am thinking about new curtains for the family room.  My vertical blinds, victims of several rounds of tenants and daycare kids, have definitely seen better days.  Or centuries.  We’re not sure whether more moves are in our future, so I know I’ll be buying curtains that go with neutral-toned walls.

In some ways, my curtain stash mirrors a larger reality.  Some years, I hang curtains in every room.  I feel settled.  Other times, I wait to see whether it’s worth hanging all the curtains - will we be here a while?  Will I fit into my new community, the way my neutral curtains fit on nearly any wall?  How much of myself should I invest in this new place, this home-for-a-while?

On that great day when I finally get to recycle all the boxes and weed out the curtain stash, I’m not sure what I’ll do, or how I’ll feel.  No more “just for a while” defense, no more “temporary home” feelings, no more military security blanket.  It’s hard to imagine.

It will come, though, and, when that day does arrive, for once I won’t have to worry about staying neutral.

I’m not sure I could say the same thing twice, but in different ways, so I won’t try.  Instead, I’ll invite you to one of my other blogs to read my thoughts for today.

In Memoriam

I have been “absent” from the blogosphere for several days, not just here but on a couple of my other blogs.  Life gets very hectic when your husband is getting ready to go on extended TAD.  We’re actually very fortunate, because the course my husband is taking is close enough to home that he can come home on weekends.  Still, this is the first time in a long while we’ve had to deal with temporary duty, so we’re all feeling a bit out of sorts.

I’ve learned a few things, though, from doing this once or twice or a dozen times before.  I know what I have to do to get through this.  Here’s my plan:

• Accept that TAD happens, regardless of whether or not I like it.  I learned this one long before I faced our first military separation.  My friend Kristi, back at San Vito Air Station, described how she felt when her husband Ed first went to sea.  “I cried and cried on that pier, but the ship just left anyway.”  Ships leave.  Deployments happen.  I know I cannot control my husband’s military schedule.  The only person I can control is myself.  Stop deployments?  Not likely.  Decide how I will handle my response to them?  That’s my job.
• Set up a routine and stick to it.  This is especially important when children are involved.  We have a couple of activities that haven’t started yet, but everyone knows what they are, how much driving is involved, and so on.  I review the Family Plan of the Week with my children each Monday and remind them of upcoming unusual events - homeschool park day, for example - as the week goes on.
• Smile.  Things could be worse.  Two out of three of my cars work.  (I killed four cars during one six-month cruise, so this is important.)  My husband is not headed to Points Far Away, nor is he on a Big Grey Thing for six months.  I am blessed.
• Stay connected.  Technology is my friend.  My husband’s office has issued him a laptop to accompany his infamous BlackBerry, so I can email and call him.  I’m old enough to have survived one-letter-per-month deployments, so I know things are better these days.
• Don’t try to do everything myself.  This one is hard for me, as I am guilty of trying to be SuperMom.  Can’t be done.  I can mow lawns and teach kids and all that, but I can’t do much more now than I usually accomplish with my husband at home all week.  It’s a good thing the House Beautiful Inspection Team is busy elsewhere, right?
• Pray hard.  This really helps me, especially when things get stressful.  Asking God to make sure His plan is the one I follow is my main prayer of petition during tough times.  Thanking God for the blessings of health and children and supportive family helps me see the positive side of things.  Asking friends to pray me through the super-stressful times helps more than I can say.

Each deployment and TAD is different - our children are older, our responsibilities have changed, our school plan is more complex - but the basics don’t change.  Do your best, put first things first, accept that some things will go wrong and have a plan for handling them - that’s what works for us.

I’d love to hear what works for you!