militarymoms

Last night I dreamed about curtains.  I have no idea why - perhaps it’s because my cat found her way into my linen closet, where I keep my curtain stash.

That’s right - other folks have fabric stashes, I have curtains.  I have curtains from every house I’ve ever lived in.  Some I’ve made, some I’ve purchased - but I have them.  I have curtains to fit European windows and curtains to fit smaller-than-average base housing windows.  I have 1980’s floral print curtains and 21st-century teal-and-mushroom checked panels.  I have extra shower curtains, too.

When you move every couple of years, you have to take down your curtains and re-hang them in your new home.  Your living room curtain from house #4 might not fit in house #5 - but it could work in house #6, so you save it.  Hence, my curtain stash.

I have been in this house two years so far and am thinking about new curtains for the family room.  My vertical blinds, victims of several rounds of tenants and daycare kids, have definitely seen better days.  Or centuries.  We’re not sure whether more moves are in our future, so I know I’ll be buying curtains that go with neutral-toned walls.

In some ways, my curtain stash mirrors a larger reality.  Some years, I hang curtains in every room.  I feel settled.  Other times, I wait to see whether it’s worth hanging all the curtains - will we be here a while?  Will I fit into my new community, the way my neutral curtains fit on nearly any wall?  How much of myself should I invest in this new place, this home-for-a-while?

On that great day when I finally get to recycle all the boxes and weed out the curtain stash, I’m not sure what I’ll do, or how I’ll feel.  No more “just for a while” defense, no more “temporary home” feelings, no more military security blanket.  It’s hard to imagine.

It will come, though, and, when that day does arrive, for once I won’t have to worry about staying neutral.

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